Sonnet IV

This weekend involved three quite different social scenes: the play on Friday, the Army Ball on Saturday, and a dinner party on Sunday in London. All interesting and fun in different ways. So, the Army Ball entailed a trip with Jessica to Temple Herdewyke and the army base there to hang with some British officers. It was a fancy dress ball (fancy dress in the UK refers to a costume party) with the theme "Shipwrecked." We were invited by Jess's friend from uni, Nic (her nickname is Knickers. And that is called alliteration, though not a very talented example and entirely coincidental), now an officer in the army. What else can I say? It lived up to its potential for being really random. I found the best dress ever at this vintage shop; it had nothing to do with conventional shipwrecks but based on my viewing of The Tempest the night before I became inspired to make a Forbidden Planet reference with my personal theme of spaceshipwrecked. Aww yeah.... obscure Shakespeare fifties sci fi reference + random seventies-ish dress, water pistol ray gun, and sticky glow in the dark ceiling stars in hair = a damn good costume. To see more pics, click on the photo above. I would tell you all about the dinner party on Sunday but then I would have to kill you.

The Odyssey

The Army Ball approached and what to wear?
Nic's notice did not give too much detail.
The costume Knickers planned: a pirate pair.
"And could you nick syringes?" she emailed. 1

That afternoon we cycled with great haste,
Our mission quite simple for these two pros.
The vintage stores threefold did yield a clue;
The museum, the toy store: treasure troves.

At Temple Herdewyke we truly shone.
Anne Francis lost in space, my sci fi twist.
And Jess a siren freshly quit her stone,
Her song the sailors' ears could not resist.

The booty on this isle was such a draw
We both went home attached to monkey's paws.

1. Nic asked Jess to get her syringes to give a "more authentic British beach feeling" to the party decor.

Sonnet III

Okay, there is no way I can keep up with this precedent but oh well. Last night a group of us went to see a production of The Tempest in the gardens of Trinity College (Oxford University is composed of 39 colleges, including Trinity, and Somerville and Balliol, which I mention below). Beautiful setting, fine production. I especially liked Caliban but have always had a strange soft spot for him. Anyway, I think if I were to write a sonnet about Shakespeare there would be some tear in the firmament or something. So instead I will write about my beloved flatmates, Brad and Jess. They share their home with me, feed me, clean up after me, but unlike my parents, they even encourage my delinquent behavior. They have a tendency to speak about themselves as if they are a class of animal; e.g., "Brad's really like badgers." They're the best. So this is for them.

I Know Why The Caged Brad Sings, or The Love Song of J. Mather Hillon1

A Jess is a medic 2 at Somerville
Whose tales are of tumors, abscess, tum poo.
They'll not eat meat till you've had your fill 3
And have flame red hair, post cards in the loo. 4

A Brad is a baller and soon will dwell
at Said business school and Balliol 5
in lieu of Westwood hills and midnight yell.
The lure: hedgehogs, black robes, a scull. 6

A Jess and a Brad, when cohabitate,
Are pairs who like Curie or Black and Scholes
in concert make discoveries quite great,
As with Little Britain, Quorn mince, Kobol.

The lucky who sight them all do agree
That Jess's and Brad's are both rare species.

whew... this one required alot of explanation...
1. Brad sings & plays guitar alot. Jess's last name is Mather-Hillon.
2. Brits call med students medics.
3. Jess is a vegetarian but hates to see meat go to waste, so if she sees someone throwing it out, she may eat it just out of principle.
4. We have these medical study sheets up in the bathroom. For example, next to the toilet is one that lists the five fecal classifications.
5. Brad hasn't decided yet, but he has just been accepted to Said (pronounced "Sa-yeed"). Doesn't know about Balliol yet but it is his first preference for colleges.
6. At Oxford they wear robes when they take their exams or at formal dinner. The scull is a reference to punting, a popular pasttime here. The colleges allow students to go punting for free, which involves rowing down the Thames.

Sonnet II

Oh that's right ye of little faith. I am pumping these things out like nobody's business. Many of you have already heard about this party I attended, but tough, you're going to hear about it again because it was so fun. And stop with your nasty asides already - a fun party with me present is not an oxymoron. So, the background is, a friend of a friend whom I had not yet met in person was nice enough to invite me to a party at his phat flat in London (the neighborhood of Islington to be specific). It was a 24 hour, multi-cultural, multi-birthday housewarming party. Jason made fabulous Jambalaya (quite possibly the perfect drunk food). What I remember of the party was truly memorable, and what I don't was even better I think... Oh yeah, and I couldn't decide which ending couplet I liked best so there are two.

The Jambalaya Eaters

The evite did intrigue with random bait:
A housewarming, some birthdays, ethnic theme.
To Islington I lugged a brimming plate
Of Cali food; its layers seven teem'd.

The flat, its lift, were sights grand to behold;
The balcony had views of ports o' call.
A hug to greet, Jason was far from cold
And shared a fridge stocked full with alcohol

My birthday - nine pm shared with Sameer.
The Mexicans toasted me with Patron.1
The zebra rug a dance floor did appear
And Hal's fab pants matched her and her alone.2

We left the fete; free taxis there were none.
The night bus when you're hammered sure is fun.

*Alternate ending:
The Keck party did prove a great success;
The cougar from upstairs would ne'er protest.

1. It probably wasn't Patron, but it was good tequila and I'm allowed a little poetic license.
2. Hal's pants were zebra print too. And I don't think he even planned it.

Sonnet I

So, everyone cycles around Oxford, including me sometimes. One day I borrowed Brad's bike and cycled to the Oxford Express stop, one of the bus lines that goes into London. I got back late from London & left my bike locked up overnight in favor of a ride home. When I came back to retrieve the bike, all that was left locked to the bike rack was the frame. Sigh. So now I am left with the pedophile bike, which will have its own sonnet in due time...

In Memory of Dawes1, or The Rape of Everything but the Lock

Your rusted chain might skip a couple gears
The light you bore burned stronger in months past
The seat had lumps, it often lightly seared
my steadfast aching little lady ass.

Your chipping paint did spot with bird poo caked
The mud guard on your front was cracked and loose.
With gentle pumps I beckoned your rear brake.
It squealed in pain; the wheel's shake was profuse.

But faithful friend you briskly carried me
Cross roundabouts, paths lined with fresh new blooms.
That fateful day I fled to the city,
I callously left you to certain doom.

Those nasty townie teenage ne'er do wells
Did strip you of all whistles save the bell.2

1. Dawes was the brand of the bike.
2. Right now I am reading For Whom The Bell Tolls. Just a little FYI. Slow start, but now I am very into it. Though I realized a little too late I should be reading something like Brideshead Revisited...

Introduction

So, my first sonnet will be published just above this posting, but thought I would first digress on the title of my blog. TAE happens to be my initials. It also in my mind can be an acronym for so many potential titles for this blog. For your consideration:

Typical American in England
Trite Attempt at Exposition
Temporary Anderson Expat
Trying to Avoid Expulsion (from the country - had a bit of a hassle at customs when I arrived...)

I dunno. I'm sure you can think of many better ones. At any rate, I know you are all jealous of the versatility of my initials. In fact, it is my go to answer to "What do you think is your greatest strength?" "I have really good initials." Trust me, it wows the recruiters.