Sonnet III

Okay, there is no way I can keep up with this precedent but oh well. Last night a group of us went to see a production of The Tempest in the gardens of Trinity College (Oxford University is composed of 39 colleges, including Trinity, and Somerville and Balliol, which I mention below). Beautiful setting, fine production. I especially liked Caliban but have always had a strange soft spot for him. Anyway, I think if I were to write a sonnet about Shakespeare there would be some tear in the firmament or something. So instead I will write about my beloved flatmates, Brad and Jess. They share their home with me, feed me, clean up after me, but unlike my parents, they even encourage my delinquent behavior. They have a tendency to speak about themselves as if they are a class of animal; e.g., "Brad's really like badgers." They're the best. So this is for them.

I Know Why The Caged Brad Sings, or The Love Song of J. Mather Hillon1

A Jess is a medic 2 at Somerville
Whose tales are of tumors, abscess, tum poo.
They'll not eat meat till you've had your fill 3
And have flame red hair, post cards in the loo. 4

A Brad is a baller and soon will dwell
at Said business school and Balliol 5
in lieu of Westwood hills and midnight yell.
The lure: hedgehogs, black robes, a scull. 6

A Jess and a Brad, when cohabitate,
Are pairs who like Curie or Black and Scholes
in concert make discoveries quite great,
As with Little Britain, Quorn mince, Kobol.

The lucky who sight them all do agree
That Jess's and Brad's are both rare species.

whew... this one required alot of explanation...
1. Brad sings & plays guitar alot. Jess's last name is Mather-Hillon.
2. Brits call med students medics.
3. Jess is a vegetarian but hates to see meat go to waste, so if she sees someone throwing it out, she may eat it just out of principle.
4. We have these medical study sheets up in the bathroom. For example, next to the toilet is one that lists the five fecal classifications.
5. Brad hasn't decided yet, but he has just been accepted to Said (pronounced "Sa-yeed"). Doesn't know about Balliol yet but it is his first preference for colleges.
6. At Oxford they wear robes when they take their exams or at formal dinner. The scull is a reference to punting, a popular pasttime here. The colleges allow students to go punting for free, which involves rowing down the Thames.